Did you know that an Australian study, conducted just a few years ago, found that health issues and chronic pain were related to OVER 1 in 5 suicide deaths? When talking about suicide, we often focus on the mental health of the victim, but how often do we address the physical health of the victim? People with Fibromyalgia are at a higher risk of suicide, over all of the other chronic illnesses. Why is that? Well, no one seems to know
exactly why other than to infer that constantly being in pain leads to a person becoming severely depressed, and then thoughts of suicide take over. While I don't doubt this is a part of it, I'm nowhere near convinced it's the full reason. This is my personal theory based on my own personal experiences: Many drugs given to FM patients initially are anti-depressants that are supposed to help because depression can cause "phantom pain" and such - and also because of a brain chemical imbalance. However, the drugs that have been designed and specifically marketed for FM are not officially anti-depressants, most likely because researchers realized that it wasn't a depression-like pain. More and more, researchers are finding that FM isn't depression-related, it's more that there's a disconnect between the nerves and the brain, that the nerves are misfiring for one reason or another, and sending signals to the brain that something is going on - whether it's pain, tingling, itching, etc (all are symptoms of FM). These new drugs are working on the brain to see if it's the brain that's misinterpreting the nerves. They're altering brain chemicals and in doing so, they alter the mind set. It's not an overnight thing - it comes on gradually and so subtly that you don't even realize what's happening. When this first happened to me, I thought it was just me. I thought I was the "weird" one. Then I talked to my rheumatologist who informed me that these drugs do carry a risk of suicidal thoughts. Wow, really? So he tried another drug, one that did still carry that risk, but wasn't nearly as common of a side effect. Well, most doctors will tell you that if you take one drug and suffer a side effect from it, chances are sister drugs that carry that same side effect will cause that same side effect in you. Why he put me on that other drug I'll never know. Regardless, it ended up leading me to my own attempt. In many ways, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I fought and fought and fought with myself but I couldn't see any better solution for my family. I was costing them tons of money, I was causing them pain by me constantly being in pain. I honestly and truly felt they would be better off if I was gone because then my kids could have a mom who could go outside and play with them without worries of the sun causing a Lupus flare, a mom who could run around and do cartwheels and practice cheerleading with her daughter, etc. I felt my husband could then find a better wife, one who didn't come home from work so exhausted and in pain that she couldn't even wash the dishes or prepare dinner, one who had the energy to keep the house as clean as his mother, etc. I felt worthless and completely hopeless. Once I was slowly tapered off of the "devil drugs" I had other side effects - seizures, fainting, twitches - and it took awhile for my mind to truly come back to me, but it did. In the meantime, while it was coming back, I did go into therapy. I figured that there had to be those underlying thoughts already in my mind that I needed to address and that the drugs just made worse and more unbearable. Now, keep in mind here, I thought it was just me. Since then, I started researching, I started talking with others that have taken the same meds... and lo and behold, I've come across so many people that have had the same issues with these meds, including one person who lost their mother to suicide and her mother was on very high doses of these meds. It hadn't been linked to the meds but she had been fine before going on them. So, yes, my theory is that the chronic pain definitely makes us more susceptible to these kinds of thoughts, but these drugs, these brain-chemical-changing drugs, can really be what pushes us over the edge. Doctors need to be making ALL patients aware of these possible side effects, but more importantly, all patients' support systems - husbands, wives, mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, best friends, etc. - need to be aware of these side effects. They come on so subtly that when you're in the moment you don't realize what is going on. My husband noticed but didn't understand it. Now he knows; now he knows what to look for and what to do before I ever reach that place. So I leave you with this question: what do you do when you have to make the choice between physical health/being pain-free, and mental health? Which becomes more important? Is it worth the risk and possible sacrifice of mental sensibilities in order to have less pain and a bit more physical ability?
Related Links
I hope you never need any of the above links, for either yourself or your friends/loved ones, but if you do, please know that there IS help out there. Also, please feel free to contact me. I'm happy to talk to anyone, even if it's just to lend an ear or a shoulder.
Originally posted at
Falling Into My Own Sarchasm and cross-posted here.
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